Lasagne

Last night I made lasagne. This always looks lovely served up at the table in a nice earthenware dish. Simple fare, from the sun-drenched countryside of Italy.

However that's the tip of the iceberg...

OH LASAGNE, LASAGNE
SO DIFFICULT TO GUAGE
YOU SPREAD YOURSELF SEDUCTIVELY
ACROSS THE CENTRE PAGE

WITH A BUSY DAY BEHIND ME
(SO A LITTLE TIRED I FEEL)
YOU SELL YOURSELF QUITE SHAMELESSLY
AS A SIMPLE, ONE POT, MEAL

BUT LIKE ANY STUNNING TEMPTRESS
WITH YOU THERE IS A STING
TO GET YOU SAFELY IN THAT DISH
USES EVERY BLOODY THING!

TWO BOARDS, A JUG, SOME SPOONS, A WHISK
AND KNIVES OF EVERY KIND
THREE SAUCEPANS, BOWLS, A NUTMEG GRATER
(THAT WAS HARD TO FIND)

OH HOW YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS!
“COME JOIN ME IN A DRINK”
JUST MAKE BELIEVE THAT’S NOT A PILE
OF WASHING IN THE SINK

BUT HOWEVER MUCH YOU PUNISH ME
HOWEVER MUCH A CHORE
TIME AND TIME AGAIN I KNOW
I’LL STILL COME BACK FOR MORE

HAPPY NEW YEAR

It's only when you look back on a decade that you realise how much has changed. We started 2000 as Londoners, in steady jobs, plodding along from year to year.

Then in 2001 we took the decision to move to Brighton and, in December 2004 take over the Avalon so are now in our 6th year. I am still waiting to wake up and there's nothing to do - I could make a list of 10 things each day and manage perhaps half of them!

I cannot even begin to count how many new friends and acquaintances we have made in that time (or indeed during our time in Brighton). It's delightful that the nicest people keep coming back time and time again. They are all lovely, keep a keen interest in our wellbeing, and us in theirs, as families grow up and so on.

Doubtless we shall meet more until we finally decide to pack it in and move on.

So at the start of another year, another decade, we look forward to seeing you again soon to share stories, triumphs, tragedies, secrets and pleasures. A very Happy New Year.

New Technology

Have you got the knack?

At the Avalon you get two keys one for the front door and one for the room. At a bigger, swankier joint, you get a card with holes punched in it, or with a chip like a credit card.

One drawback is that your room number is not always printed on the card - these things are recharged or reprogrammed by the front desk check-in staff so presumably they are interchangeable.

This is OK if you have a good memory. I'm usually OK because I don't stay away much so if I'm in room 236 I'll remember it as the last time I stayed in room 326 but that was 4 years ago and in a different hotel / country. But what if you travel daily and have to remember each day a new room number especially as big hotels have a frightening similarity to each other? Getting up for the loo in the dark is never a problem because the facilities are usually in identical places (don't quote me on this, though!).

And there's 'The Knack'. Tom just slots the card in and expects the lock to release - oh no! It's a quick flick in and out before that reassuring green light or click to say you can get in. Give me a key any day. Even if I have to leave it behind reception because it's got something akin to a ship's anchor attched to it - so be it.

And while where on technology - shopping. Argos 'pay by machine' is good. My record in and out of the store at Brighton is under 2 minutes. Remember those days when your number was 479 from point A and the current one on the screen was 132? It all seems quicker now.

But supermarket checkouts I'm afraid are just a bit too complicated. I just commented on the BBC website about these but basically to be asked 'Please Put Your Item In The Bagging Area' when you have already lobbed it in twice with the force of a fast bowler is a tad annoying.

And why are there so many items unrecognised? I felt I'd tried to put a whole load of Waitrose groceries through the ADSA checkout.

So rest assured - your key at the Avalon will be a proper key and so that your fruit is not bruised I'll go through the human channel at the shop.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone. Now there's a thought - imagine being one of those people you see with a trolley in the supermarket just before Christmas who have obviously shopped for a local army base of about 300 soldiers. Then to get that lot through self-service ... somebody please try!

It's been a long, long time ....

I don't suppose many people keep diaries anymore now that Blogs have taken the limelight. Barely a day goes by that another entry from a famous Blog is reported on - Barack Obama for instance. How does he get the time? I find it hard to put aside 30 minutes now and then to bring this one up to date and that's just running a guesthouse, not as guardian of the free world!

I kept a diary when I was 17 for some months. Of course, I had to write it in code so that my mother (who was bound to find it) would never unravel the goings on of her teenage son. Even Bletchley Park would have taken a while. But as the sultry summer of 1980, interspersed with a landmark holiday in Greece, came to a close so did the diary.

For me it's the same with a Blog hence my long delay in coming back. And that's without me Twittering or updating Facebook! I haven't really cottoned on properly to these yet although I'm trying. Presumably it's like a round robin every day so that people can keep up with the minutiae of your daily life - 'I thought I'd be bold and wear red socks today'. How lovely.

Not that anything's come to a close here, oh no. We had the most exquisite time in Paris despite it being about twice as expensive as Brighton. We just changed our habits and ate at home (we booked this charming little flat in Le Marais on the Rue des Rosiers - the heart of the Jewish Quarter - opposite was a Kosher Pizza parlour). And this time we paid upfront for everything - those Pre-Paid Mastercards are great because you already have the money and they are so much more convenient than carrying substantial amounts of cash. We did eat out at night of course but still managed to spend about half as much as the last time.

Here at Avalon Brighton we've had the Labour Party Conference too - a great bunch of people but you get the feeling they are not overly optimistic of success in the near future.

We have the signed Gilbert and George prints (one person thought they were pictures of me and Tom).

Two good friends have sadly left us. Linda was taken ill on a break in Brighton and died very suddenly.

Ken Wynn (pictured at the top with the delectable Miss Sophie, Martin's Jack Russell and also on this Blog last year for Trafalgar Night) - so sad that we only knew him as a good friend for the last three or four years - passed away last week and his funeral was on Tuesday. I want a funeral like that - the right balance between respect, solemnity, mischief and sheer fun. Martin spotted me across the room upstairs at the Pumphouse in the Lanes handing an Avalon card to someone (who asked me for one) and hissed: 'Have you no shame - carding a wake?!'

Not really.

And so the Avalon Brighton today sails slowly into winter with a full complement of Belgian and UK martial arts enthusiasts. Tom has taken George to the cinema to see Saw 6 (George loves these movies where people are turned into joints of meat - give me 'Room With A View' any day).

So I find myself with half an hour to bring things up to date - well it's more pleasant than digging out all my tax info for the accountant but don't worry Geoff I'll do that in the morning. Anyway there's a postal strike!

We've had so many lovely people stay again this year - many new friends to add to our Christmas Card list (that's a metaphorical one because we usually forget to send any). Keep in touch through this Blog or on brian@avalonbrighton.co.uk to let me know how things are going.

And I dedicate the week to the lovely Romany Van Bosch, longtime friend of Ken's, tirelessly helping him in his later years as his illness and age took their toll, being an absolute diamond to everybody, organising things and generally being a star. I watched her walking up St James's Street the other day and didn't recognize her at first as I thought it was someone in their 20's! Romany if I can have only half the zest for life you have it will do for me. Ken must be immensely proud to have picked the right friend all those years ago (around the time of the Queen's Coronation) and for that friendship to have survived through its ups and downs but intact and as strong as ever at the end. God Bless You!

A Good Weekend in Prospect...

This weekend it's WhiteAir in Brighton. This is an Extreme Sports Festival which encompasses all manner of events and live music.

Headlining band 'The Cribs' have apparently outsold the Beatles this week (although not Vera Lynn I hasten to add).

Check out their website on http://www.whiteair.co.uk/ for a full programme of events.

We've got tickets and can engage in some extreme sports ourselves if minded to. There's a Red Arrows display and the RAF, Royal Marines and Royal Navy are all out and about. You can also elect to participate in some of the sports. Like bouncing from bench to bench on a mountain bike or skateboarding through a crowd - I imagine young Britons are pretty good at these as they get so much practice!

The 'C' Word

Somebody has finally chosen to fight back. August Bank Holiday (tomorrow) is usually the date the starting pistol is fired for Christmas.



One year it was a hot September day and wearing shorts and a t-shirt I wandered into BHS (in Churchill Square, Brighton) and the whole of the front section was given over to gifts, cards, decorations etc PLUS Paul McCartney singing 'Simply - Having - a - Wonderful - Christmas-time'. When I mentioned it to the staff they had already desensitized themselves to it. I genuinely avoided the store until week 2 of December!



In Leeds someone has threatened to superglue shop locks if they put out the Christmas cards before November and I can appreciate their sentiment if not their means.



There are some reasons for bringing the word out early. Saving for Christmas for example - putting a little aside each week to spread the cost over the year. Most supermarkets have such a scheme and some offer rewards. How times have changed! As a child in the 1960s and 70s my mother used to collect stamps in her 'Christmas Club'. Then the 1980's onwards saw the borrowing boom and it was OK to put Christmas on the cards and pay it all back later. Wasn't this the case until a year ago but what's the betting people are saving again or planning a more frugal festive season? No harm there!



Even at the Avalon, Brighton, I have to bring the word up soon. We need to decide when to open, what days to string together as a mini-break, what to offer as extra to make a good value holiday etc.



Rest assured however the reindeer won't go up until the very last minute. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking it was only a short while ago that I was putting all the stuff away in the loft!



When did all this early Christmas stuff start? Again I don't remember as a child hearing much about it until mid-November when we started preparing for the school carol service. Even when I was in St John's choir, Woking, we didn't start rehearsals until November. The festive season used to last about a month - not four.



We all realise when watching Christmas Specials on TV as the season genuinely gets underway that recording took place in the late summer or early autumn. All that fake snow, jumpers and sitting round a log fire took place as we baked outside (well, theoretically as baking weather seems to have deserted us of late). Perhaps it spread out of one of those recording studios. The audience left in festive spirit and gave an impromptu August carol singing concert somewhere near Wood Lane, Shepherds Bush and like Swine Flu it spread across the nation.



Seasons Greetings to you all, this August Bank Holiday - and get that Paul McCartney song out of your head right now!

Paella

Now there are only so many times you can have a succession of suppers (dinners if you're posh) of spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, chilli-con-carne, burgers, fish pie, steaks, chops or chicken.

Sharing a household with somebody with Asperger's Syndrome (a newsworthy topic at the moment) means that we have to take turns at choosing the meal for a particular night. There are three of us, and at the beginning of each new year our inititals are carefully put in the diary for each day and that's that - the nights are set and (without banana republic scale bribery) we must stick to our turns. If my birthday falls on George's turn and I choose to eat out I must miss my next turn because he missed his, regardless of whether we - including him - eat at Rules in Covent Garden for £300.00!

So I try to vary what we eat from time-to-time and come up with exciting stuff. Sometimes to great effect, sometimes disaster. I've already mentioned Delia's 'How to Cheat at Cooking' book and have tried something from that. Well, the result was good, but the cost! I suppose you pay more to cheat but Braised Steak with wild mushroom and Madeira Sauce? We may as well have flown to Madeira for the experience.

In between were spaghetti bolognese and chicken so my next effort was Paella. Have you ever tried making this? For a start the shopping list easily fills an A4 sheet, possibly more, and that's with about 6 or 7 items already present in the spice rack and storecupboard. Not saffron sadly - highly expensive and I'm not convinced it adds much to the overall taste when you put in a 'pinch' - itself adding another £1 to your meal. George nearly took the jar to Customer Services to complain someone had already taken the saffron out but no, if you look closely, there's a smattering in there in orange cellophane. Raw prawns, squid, clams (there were millions on the beach last week where those rock pools were but I'm not sure I fancy anything from the sea here), chorizo, chicken thighs, dry white wine, hot chicken stock, fresh parsley, thyme and so on...

I started 'preparation' as Mr Worrall Thompson euphamistically puts it - 1 hour he says. Maybe, with a team of eager apprentice chefs keen not to be shouted at. About a week is what it felt like. I put together spoonfulls of this, pinches of that etc but after an age barely seemed a quarter of the way down the list.

I tried one of Delia's 'cheat' devices - the Mini-Chopper - instead of chopping a large onion and a red pepper by hand. After searching the kitchen for whatever valued space I'd stored it, checking it thoroughly to make sure it had gone away clean the last time, clearing an area to use it near a socket, actually peeling and quartering the onion and de-seeding the pepper by hand, using it and watching it dice the onion apart from two wedges that seemed untouched but once they too were chopped the whole thing was a puree - likewise with the red pepper which it treated in the manner of a juicer - dismantling and washing it, drying it and boxing it up and packing it back in the cupboard I could have done the chopping by hand and gone for a couple of pints in the process. Breadcrumbs, that's all it's fit for.

Eventually the last ingredients were prepared - not cooked - but ready to start and I went to join Tom and George in the pub much later than planned. We got back an hour later and, yes, Anthony was right it took about 30 minutes to cook. The 'one pan' meal used a couple of others for the prawns and squid and apart from welding a couple of tablespoons of rice to my proud new stainless steel heavy-based deep frying pan the whole thing was delicious. I should have taken a mouth-watering photo (is there such a thing as a mouth-watering photo?).

While maybe not regressing to Vesta's packet Paella (a real treat in 1971 Woking and I wonder how much saffron it has in it?) I think I'll have to come up with something of a cheat's version since Delia missed this one out of her book. One that recognises we have both limited lives and pockets. Or maybe I should just accept that we do not live in Spain where all this stuff is readily available and stick to what I know.

Tonight it's my turn to choose again and we're having chilli-con-carne with hand-chopped onions, chillies and garlic. Less than a fiver too and with some giga-hot chilli flakes from 'Chilli Pepper Pete' in Brighton Marina that knock your socks off...

Hasta la Vista, Amigos