Paella

Now there are only so many times you can have a succession of suppers (dinners if you're posh) of spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, chilli-con-carne, burgers, fish pie, steaks, chops or chicken.

Sharing a household with somebody with Asperger's Syndrome (a newsworthy topic at the moment) means that we have to take turns at choosing the meal for a particular night. There are three of us, and at the beginning of each new year our inititals are carefully put in the diary for each day and that's that - the nights are set and (without banana republic scale bribery) we must stick to our turns. If my birthday falls on George's turn and I choose to eat out I must miss my next turn because he missed his, regardless of whether we - including him - eat at Rules in Covent Garden for £300.00!

So I try to vary what we eat from time-to-time and come up with exciting stuff. Sometimes to great effect, sometimes disaster. I've already mentioned Delia's 'How to Cheat at Cooking' book and have tried something from that. Well, the result was good, but the cost! I suppose you pay more to cheat but Braised Steak with wild mushroom and Madeira Sauce? We may as well have flown to Madeira for the experience.

In between were spaghetti bolognese and chicken so my next effort was Paella. Have you ever tried making this? For a start the shopping list easily fills an A4 sheet, possibly more, and that's with about 6 or 7 items already present in the spice rack and storecupboard. Not saffron sadly - highly expensive and I'm not convinced it adds much to the overall taste when you put in a 'pinch' - itself adding another £1 to your meal. George nearly took the jar to Customer Services to complain someone had already taken the saffron out but no, if you look closely, there's a smattering in there in orange cellophane. Raw prawns, squid, clams (there were millions on the beach last week where those rock pools were but I'm not sure I fancy anything from the sea here), chorizo, chicken thighs, dry white wine, hot chicken stock, fresh parsley, thyme and so on...

I started 'preparation' as Mr Worrall Thompson euphamistically puts it - 1 hour he says. Maybe, with a team of eager apprentice chefs keen not to be shouted at. About a week is what it felt like. I put together spoonfulls of this, pinches of that etc but after an age barely seemed a quarter of the way down the list.

I tried one of Delia's 'cheat' devices - the Mini-Chopper - instead of chopping a large onion and a red pepper by hand. After searching the kitchen for whatever valued space I'd stored it, checking it thoroughly to make sure it had gone away clean the last time, clearing an area to use it near a socket, actually peeling and quartering the onion and de-seeding the pepper by hand, using it and watching it dice the onion apart from two wedges that seemed untouched but once they too were chopped the whole thing was a puree - likewise with the red pepper which it treated in the manner of a juicer - dismantling and washing it, drying it and boxing it up and packing it back in the cupboard I could have done the chopping by hand and gone for a couple of pints in the process. Breadcrumbs, that's all it's fit for.

Eventually the last ingredients were prepared - not cooked - but ready to start and I went to join Tom and George in the pub much later than planned. We got back an hour later and, yes, Anthony was right it took about 30 minutes to cook. The 'one pan' meal used a couple of others for the prawns and squid and apart from welding a couple of tablespoons of rice to my proud new stainless steel heavy-based deep frying pan the whole thing was delicious. I should have taken a mouth-watering photo (is there such a thing as a mouth-watering photo?).

While maybe not regressing to Vesta's packet Paella (a real treat in 1971 Woking and I wonder how much saffron it has in it?) I think I'll have to come up with something of a cheat's version since Delia missed this one out of her book. One that recognises we have both limited lives and pockets. Or maybe I should just accept that we do not live in Spain where all this stuff is readily available and stick to what I know.

Tonight it's my turn to choose again and we're having chilli-con-carne with hand-chopped onions, chillies and garlic. Less than a fiver too and with some giga-hot chilli flakes from 'Chilli Pepper Pete' in Brighton Marina that knock your socks off...

Hasta la Vista, Amigos